Once Upon A Time
by Dezzie Chan
Summary: Edge (Adam) gets called over to babysit Mick Foley's kids... but they won't sleep without storytime! But will the kids like it when their traditional fairy tales are filled with wrestlers? Please R&R! [Completed]
1. Adam Needs Cheering Up

Summary: Edge (Adam) gets called over to babysit Mick Foley's kids... but they won't sleep without storytime!   
Rated PG for some mild language. It's a bedtime story, people!   
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Edge/Adam Copeland... but.. I'd like to...! I mean, if his wife didn't... Anyway, I don't own Mick Foley's kids. I don't own Mick Foley, either... you know, come to think of it I don't own ANYONE in these stories! So please don't sue me! (hides under her bedcovers)   
  
  
  
Once Upon A Time   
  
By Dezzie-Chan ^.^   
  
  
Edge AKA Adam Copeland had been listening to his real-life good friend Mick Foley reel off rules for watching his kids for half an hour now, and still had a fake smile plastered on his face, making sure to nod every few seconds. How hard could it be to babysit a couple of little tykes? Besides, he thought it would take his mind off of work, and his eye, which was still a little sore after Unforgiven.   
  
"Okay.. I think that's about it..." Mick made a face like he was deeply concentrating.   
  
"Well, all right! Let's see the kids!" Adam sprung up from his seat and rubbed his hands together.   
  
"Oh ho ho! Wait!" Mick laughed. Adam's face fell a little, and he sat back down. "Don't forget; Noelle loves her bedtime stories! Sometimes Duey likes them, too. So, don't forget to give them a nice storytime before sleepy-bye. If you're lucky, they'll fall asleep in the middle, anyway."   
  
"Mick!" came a feminine voice from the other room. "Are we almost set?" Colette walked into the room, her hands on her hips and purse over her shoulder. She was dressed very nicely; a short black dress and fur-trimmed coat, which provided a drastic contrast to Mick's sweat pants and flannel shirt.   
  
"All right, dear!" Mick and Adam stood up at the same time, and Mick slapped Adam on the shoulder. "We should be home pretty soon, tough guy! I hope they don't rough you up so bad!"   
  
Adam nodded, weakly. Hey, Foley's kids were good kids, and sometimes being around children was good for cheering a guy up. This would be fun; he'd feel better afterwards.   
  
"Kiiiiiids!" Mick called, receiving a chorus of 'yeah!' from the other room. "Be nice to Uncle Adam while mommy and daddy are gone!" Mick turned to leave, then suddenly, as Mick often does, got a better idea. "In fact, show him the wrestler impersonation game!"   
  
Suddenly, Adam wasn't so sure this would cheer him up.   
  
  
  
To Be Continued!


	2. Big Red Machine

Summary: Edge (Adam) gets called over to babysit Mick Foley's kids... but they won't sleep without storytime!  
Rated PG for some mild language. It's a bedtime story, people!  
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Edge/Adam Copeland... but.. I'd like to...! I mean, if his wife didn't... Anyway, I don't own Mick Foley's kids. I don't own Mick Foley, either... you know, come to think of it I don't own ANYONE in these stories! So please don't sue me! (hides under her bedcovers)  
  
  
  
Once Upon A Time  
  
By Dezzie-Chan ^.^  
  
  
(We join our hero - that's Adam - after having watched the kids all evening... is he still in one piece!?)  
  
  
Seventeen rounds of "Al Snow and Chyna in a handicap match against the Big Show" with Mick's kids hadn't done much for Adam's bad mood. He was tired, and just wanted Noelle and Duey to go to sleep. Plus, being beaten by Al Snow in any way shape or form including impersonation was a depressing undertaking. Mick would agree with him, anyway. The two mini-Micks were currently both jumping on Noelle's bed, and having a pillow fight of legendary proportions.  
  
"Okay, okay, okay!" Adam sat down on the side of the bed. "It's sleep-time!" He patted the side of the bed, and was pleasantly surprised to see Noelle calmly settle down into her bedsheets, climbing under the covers and pulling them up to her chin. Duey plopped down next to her.   
  
'Wow... these kids aren't so bad afterall!' Adam said, looking at the both of them. 'They're even kind of cute when you get down to it...' He stood up to leave the room, ready to lead Duey off to his bedroom. He rested his hand on the lightswitch, and turned around to call for Duey, but was instead met with expectant looks from both kids.  
  
"Uh..." he looked around, as if he was forgetting something. "Due-ster! Time for bed! You don't want to sleep in your sister's room, do you?"  
  
"Uncle Adam..." Noelle looked exasperated. "You didn't give us our bedtime story!"  
  
"Duuuuuh," droned Duey.  
  
"A bedtime story..." he sighed, and returned to bedside, summoning up images of the stories his parents used to tell him when he was but a little thing. What was something two children, who just happened to be offspring of a WWF legend, would be interested in? Certainly not "Sleeping Beauty" or "The Emperor's New Clothes."   
  
Adam scratched his chin, then snapped his fingers. "I know! You guys can hear all about my Tables Ladders and Chairs match at No Mercy!:  
  
"Nooo! We want a REAL bedtime story!" Noelle cuddled down into her covers, looking resolute.  
  
"Yeah!" exclaimed Duey. "With fighting, and bad guys getting beaten, and the good guy getting the girl!"  
  
Adam raised an eyebrow. TLC had had fighting, the Hardyz and Dudleyz had been beaten, he was a REALLY good guy, and he always got the girl. What was this kid's problem? But, he didn't want Mick's kids to go to bed unhappy, so he cleared his throat, and began the first, of what he was yet to find, many stories.  
  
"Once upon a time--"  
  
"I wanna hear Red Riding Hood!" interrupted Noelle.  
  
Adam rolled his eyes. That was so boring. He would have to spice it up. "Okay... once upon a time..."  
  
(We now switch to storymode... with ( ) brackets representing Adam narrating something, { } brackets representing Duey and [ ] representing Noelle... I know it's confusing, but trust me, it's better that way!)  
  
(...there was a man named Kane, but everyone called him Big Red Machine.)  
[I said I wanted Little Red Riding Hood!]  
(Trust me, Noelle, this is better... just listen to Uncle Adam, okay?)  
  
Kane was lumbering down a woodland path, with happy woodland creatures scampering about, like little squirrels chattering and birds chirping and singing like, er, well, happy woodland creatures do. Kane had with him a basket full of goodies for his Grandma Gertrude. People said he and his brother got their disposition from her, so she was Kane's favorite relative, and he wanted to brighten her day with the contents of the basket, which included a box of matches, a lighter (in case they ran out of matches), gasoline, a blow-torch, and some flints.  
  
(But, as we was walking along, minding his own business, he ran into... the... uh... the Big Bald Washout!)  
  
Albert gave Kane a dirty look as he took in the standard red and black attire, and then the not-so-standard covered wicker basket. He snickered, and folding his massive arms over his chest, proceeded to jab at the Big Red Machine.  
  
"Hey, Big Red Machine! What the hell's that? Taking some goodies to grandma's, or what?!"  
  
"..." Kane proceeded to shoot an icy glare at Albert, taking in a deep huff of breath.  
  
"Whatsamatta?! Cat got your tongue, big guy? Ha ha ha h--GACK!!"  
  
Kane had secured a hand around Albert's neck, and in less than two seconds, had hoisted him into the air, then brought him crashing down onto the forest path. Albert twitched, in deep pain, as Kane nodded in satisfaction, then began to travel back down the road.  
  
(Since the Big Bald Washout was a sore loser, he decided he would have to ambush Big Red Machine somehow. So, he came up with a generic and overdone plan to take the place of Big Red Machine's grandmother and surprise him.)  
{That's not overdone!}  
[Yeah! Only the Big Bad Wolf ever did that one! This is only the second time, Uncle Adam...]  
(Okay, okay, TECHNICALLY, but.. hey, who's telling this story, anyway!?)  
  
Albert rubbed his hands together, deviously. "Heh heh heh... all I gotta do is get that old broad outta the way, and WHAM! Down goes the Big Red Machine!"  
  
(The Big Bald Washout tip-toed into Grandma Gertrude's house, and through the kitchen, living room, and billiard hall, but he couldn't find grannie anywhere! That's when he decided she must be out, and he could easily take over. So he crawled into her bed--)  
[Doesn't he change into her clothes, first?]  
{Yeah! Like a nightgown, and nightcap?}  
[*giggles*]  
(Uh.. yeah, but Big Red Machine's grandma doesn't WEAR a nightgown and cap. She wears a flame resistant bodysuit.. and a nightcap.)  
  
Albert scratched his arms and mid-back. "Dammit! This flame resistant bodysuit sure is itchy! But I do like the frilly nightcap..."  
  
Suddenly, a knock (well, more like a BAM BAM BAM) came at the door, followed by "GRAAANDMA! It's Big Red Machine!"  
  
"Come i--" Albert coughed, then changed his tone to a high squeaky one. "Come in, deary!"  
  
Kane opened the door, then walked inside, and after looking around and not seeing his dear, sweet grandmother, called out to her. "Where are you, grandma?"  
  
"Are you retarded?! I'm in the--" Albert quickly changed the tone to high-pitched, again. "I mean, I'm in the bedroom!" he sang.  
  
Kane walked into the bedroom, and was pleased to find his grandma curled under her covers, with her favorite nightcap on, as usual. However, something wasn't quite right... He approached the bed, and took a long appraising look at his grandmother.  
  
After a while, he narrowed his eyes, suspiciously, and growled "Grandma Gertrude.. what squinty, beady and evil eyes you have."  
  
"Uhh... yeah!" Albert said in a high, squeaky, voice. "The better to size people up for a Baldo Bomb with!"  
  
"..." Kane narrowed his eyes. "And my, Grandma Gertrude, what numerous piercings you have."  
  
"Uhhh... yes! The better to, uh.. be hip with... my dear Big Red Machine!"  
  
"And my, what a manly goatee you have."  
  
"The better to attract the ladies with! Chicks dig facial hair, deary!"  
  
"And my, Grandma Gertrude... what large muscles you have."  
  
"Why, yes!" Albert then threw off the guise, resorting back to his normal deep and scratchy voice mid-sentence. "The better to THROTTLE YOU WITH!!"  
  
Albert lept up from the bed, and was prepared to tackle Kane, when suddenly he felt the familiar smack of a chairshot from behind! He turned around to see a very tall and muscularly-built old lady, holding a steel chair, and looking none-too-happy.  
  
"Come on, Kane-y dear!" growled the old woman in a voice like rust and nails. "Get him!!"  
  
Albert felt the familiar feel of two hands grasping around his neck, and cried "NO!" as he was driven into the bed by a devestating double-chokeslam, breaking the supports and sending him creaking through the springs and mattress fluff. Kane then looked as his grandma and nodded, as she nodded back at them. Both slowly raised their hands from their sides, and as they stretched them above their head, brought them down in unison. Hellfire and brimstone burst out from the four bedposts, and Kane and his grandma embraced as Albert lay in a convulsing heap.  
  
"So, dear, what tipped you off to be suspicious?" questioned Grandma Gertrude.  
  
"Why, the incessantly high, feminine voice, grandma," Kane explained.  
  
Both laughed, and began to happily go through the basket Kane had brought to share with her.  
  
(We now revert back to Noelle's bedroom.)  
  
"The end!" Adam chirped, then looked at the children. "So, ready for bed, now?"  
  
Noelle let loose a heart-shattering sigh, and Duey looked sadly at the bedcovers. "Oookaaay..."  
  
Adam was lost. "What? What is it?"  
  
"Weeeeell..." began Noelle. "Daddy usually tells us stories till we fall asleep."  
  
D'OH!!  
  
"Uh.. okay, okay, that's no problem.." Adam gritted his teeth. "Let's try another story! One even more awesome than the previous... okay?"  
  
Both kids smiled, and nodded brightly.  
  
"Once upon a time..."  
  
  
  
To Be Continued(?)  
  
Tune in next time when Adam no doubt gets himself into even more bed-time story madness! In the meantime, please R&R! The next story will be up tonight or tomorrow, if you're interested. 


	3. Molly Holly and the Three Dudleyz

Summary: Edge (Adam) gets called over to babysit Mick Foley's kids... but they won't sleep without storytime!  
Rated PG for some mild language. It's a bedtime story, people!  
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Edge/Adam Copeland... but.. I'd like to...! I mean, if his wife didn't... Anyway, I don't own Mick Foley's kids. I don't own Mick Foley, either... you know, come to think of it I don't own ANYONE in these stories! So please don't sue me! (hides under her bedcovers)  
  
  
  
Once Upon A Time  
  
By Dezzie Chan ^.^  
  
  
(Where we last left off, Adam had just finished telling the story "Big Red Machine", but was devestated to find the kids weren't asleep yet! Now he is faced with the task of making up a new story - can our shades-wearing beau do it?)  
  
  
"Once upon a time..."  
  
"OH!" Noelle interrupted Adam, and tugged on his shirt sleeve. "Put a pretty girl in this one, Uncle Adam!"  
  
"Yeah! With a really evil, smelly, big, dorky, bad guy!' Duey added.  
  
"TWO really evil, smelly, big, dorky bad guys!" Noelle cried enthusiastically.  
  
Adam sighed, and started running pretty girls through his head (something he did often enough, as it is). Trish? No, he wasn't going to be the one to set a bad example for Noelle. Lita? No, too many low blows and Litacanranas to even CONSIDER that one. Chyna? Wait, wait, no, Noelle wanted a PRETTY girl. Torrie Wilson? No, then Tajiri would have to be in it, and Adam didn't know Japanese. What about... Molly? Hey! Yeah! Molly was good! Besides, Molly had two people who were really evil, smelly, big, ultimately dorky, and bad who had tormented her in the past.  
  
"All right..." Adam began. "How would you like to hear the story of Molly Holly and the Three Dudleyz?"  
  
Both children nodded their heads happily, and settled back in for a story.  
  
(Reverting back to story mode... Adam = ( ) Duey = { } Noelle = [ ] )  
  
(Once upon a time, there was a very pretty girl named Molly Holly. She lived with her older cousin Crash and Hardcore, but sometimes she wished she would be let out to meet other people more often.)  
  
Molly sighed, and propped her head in her hands. "Golly! I sure wish Crash and Hardcore would let me out to meet other people more often!"  
  
(See?)  
  
She stood up, and dusted off her seat, and at that very moment made a resolution to go do some adventuring! That was the Holly spirit, right? She started to skip off into the forest that surrounded the Holly home.  
  
Meanwhile, in the center of the forest, was a big wooden house known only as "Dudleyville". Some said that the very walls were made of scraps of tables that unfortunate victims had been slammed through, and it was a testament to the ferociousness of the house's inhabitants. The specific residents of the houses included Buh Buh Ray, who was the biggest Dudley. Then, there was D-Von, who was a middle-sized Dudley. Finally, there was the runt of the Dudleys, Spike. Buh Buh and D-Von spent a lot of time picking on Spike, and sometimes the littlest Dudley wished he had a friend outside his family.  
  
That same fateful day that Molly had left to find adventure, Buh Buh Ray and D-Von were once again picking on Spike. They had just made some Chef Boyardee Big Beefaroni, and were giving him a very small amount in proportion to theirs.  
  
{Big Beefa-what?]  
(Ah, come on! Your dad did a commercial for it, and you don't know what it is?)  
[Daddy's done a commercial for Chef Boyardee Overstuffed Ravioli! Not Beefa-whatever!]  
((groan) Okay, let's just continue...)  
  
"You can't have big portions like us, Spike!" teased Buh Buh.  
  
"Testify!" cried D-Von.  
  
"You're too liiiiiittle!" Buh Buh said, jabbing Spike in the arm.  
  
"Testify!" D-Von repeated.  
  
"And now, we're going to eat our BIG BOWLS because we're BIG GUYS!"  
  
"Testify!"  
  
"D-Von, stop that.."  
  
"Tes--sorry. Yeah, Spike! And you're stuck with a little bowl because you're a little guy!"  
  
Spike shook his head, and sat down at the table, trying to ignore his brothers. Just because he got treated like a rag doll by everyone in fairytale land, didn't mean he deserved this! He then took as big a spoonful as he could of his beefaroni, and put it in his mouth, only the get his tongue burned. "Ow!" he exclaimed. "This is too hot! You two did that on purpose!"  
  
[Uncle Adam, this is a sad story... poor Mr. Spike!]  
(Don't worry, Noelle, it gets happier!)  
  
However, Spike was wrong, as Buh Buh Ray and D-Von also chorused "Ow!" Their beefaroni was also too hot, so the two bigger brothers came up with an idea.  
  
"Hey, D-Von, Spike! Let's go for a walk and let this beefaroni cool down!"  
  
"Testif--" D-Von got a glare from Buh Buh Ray. "Uh. Right!"  
  
And so the three brothers left for a walk, most likely to go get some more wood, and bring it back to their house for later. Just as they disappeared into the woods, Molly emerged and looked at the less-than-charming house.  
  
"That has got to be the ugliest house I ever seen!" Molly said, pausing to yawn. "But I sure am tired... and... oh, no!" Molly suddenly realized she didn't remember her way home. "Maybe I'll see if anyone's home.. I hope they can help me!"  
  
She approached the house, and knocked on the door a few times. She then politely addressed whomever she hoped was home. "Hello? I think I'm lost! I was just wondering if maybe I could come inside a second?" No answer. She knocked a little harder, and was very surprised to see the door, which was a poorly reconstructed table, fall off the hinges. She blinked, and looked around to make sure no one had seen. Cautiously, she stepped inside, and looked around, only to be met by the smell of Chef Boyardee. It was only then she realized how hungry she was, and approached the three bowls.  
  
{Molly Holly wouldn't steal people's food!}  
(Well this is a very scared, lost, and hungry Molly Holly! Survival of the fittest, Due-ster, survival of the fittest...)  
  
Molly sat down and looked from bowl to bowl. She decided to start with the biggest, as she would probably take the least from it while still filling herself up, so as to leave some for the next person. She took a small bite, and exclaimed "Ow!" It was too hot (even after the elapsed time; it was a lot of beefaroni, mind you!) Then she tried the second bowl, it was too cold--  
  
(Yadda, yadda, yadda... third bowl, just right, whoopeedoo.)  
{Is that how the story goes?}  
(Is now! So she goes upstairs, and there's these three tables...)  
  
...all of which have a pillow and a blanket on them. She first tried the biggest table, but found it smelt way too bad. She tried the middle bed, but it was sweaty, and sticky. Finally, she laid down upon the last table, and found it to be neither smelly, or sweaty. It was just right! Imagine that.  
  
[You forgot the chairs!]  
(Dudleyz don't use chairs, sweet, naive Noelle.. they use TABLES. Did you know my onscreen brother Christian and I were masters of tables during the Tables, Ladders and Chai--)  
[But in the story--]  
(This is not Goldilocks and the Three Bears... it's Molly Holly and the Three Dudleyz! There's a difference...)  
{YEAH, Noelle. Duuuuuh!}  
(Hey, leave your sister alone... lemme finish the story. This is the good part...)  
  
Molly fell fast asleep, but soon after she drifted into a doze, the Dudleys returned from their walk. Buh Buh sat down in front of his bowl, followed by D-Von. Spike slumped into his chair, and dipped his spoon in only to bring out an empty spoonful.  
  
"What the?" Spike blinked, and looked at the bowl in shock.  
  
"D-Von!!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Get the Beefaroni!!"  
  
D-Von sniffled. "We're all out... I can't refill it... testif--er... never mind..."  
  
Spike rolled his eyes. "You guys only lost a mouthful!" He held up his empty bowl. "Someone ate all of mine!"  
  
"We only served you a mouthful, you little punk!"  
  
Spike's face fell. "Oh, yeah."  
  
(Feeling insecure, all of them travelled upstairs to check their beds.)  
[Uh, Uncle Adam, how did they know to check their beds?]  
(Well, they... .... ....you know what? I don't know - they're DUDLEYS! They know to do the bad guy thing at the right time.)  
  
They looked at their table-beds, and much to Buh Buh Ray's dismay, he found his bed smelt... feminine.  
  
"D-Von!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Someone's been sleeping in my bed!"  
  
D-Von then checked his bed, and found it to be drier than usual.  
  
"Buh Buh!"  
  
"Wha--wait! You can't ever call me!"  
  
"Oh, uh... waaazzaaaaaap?!"  
  
"That works. What did you want to tell me?"  
  
"Yo, someone's been sleepin' in my bed, too! Testify!"  
  
Spike then looked at his bed, and found the most beautiful girl in the world sleeping in it! At first he didn't want to tell his brothers, but he slowly cleared his throat. "There's--" His voice had cracked. Better try again. "There's someone IN my table-bed!"   
  
"Testify?" D-Von and Buh Buh Ray both took a look in the bed, and were shocked to see a blonde girl in Spike's table-bed. Both gasped, then decided the inevitable. It was table time. They hoisted off Molly, and before Spike could argue, were carting her downstairs to their wood stash.  
  
"Wait! Stop!" Spike followed them downstairs as D-Von was setting up the table. Buh Buh climbed up onto a chair, and prepared to drop Molly. Spike, however, wouldn't have it, and started to run toward him, when D-Von held out his hand. Spike ran cleanly into it, knocked flat on the floor.  
  
"No!"  
  
Everything reverted to slow motion, as things sometimes do at important moments, and Buh Buh Ray began to drop toward the table with Molly. Then, in a flash of green light, Molly disappeared from the scene, an Buh Buh ended up putting his own fat ass through the table (like he always does, but hey, who cares?)  
  
When the sawdust had cleared, a mysterious figure in a green cape and black mask stood holding Molly. Spike was livid.  
  
"You were going to put this young, beautiful citizen through a table! Whuzzupwiddat?!" Hurricane almost went to plant his hands firmly on his hips, but nearly dropped Molly in the process, and decided that would be a bad idea. "Now, I must make my daring Hurri-exit! But fear not... for I will return, same Hurri-time, same Hurri-channel!"  
  
With that, he whooshed, off, leaving Spike heart-broken, but determined to win back his sweet Molly Holly.   
  
(Back to Noelle's room.)  
  
"To be continued..." Adam ended mysteriously, looking off into space. He then looked back down at the kids, to find poor Noelle almost in tears and Duey with mouth agape.  
  
"He... he... he..." Noelle was fighting for words. "He STOLED her!" With that she burst into tears, leaving Adam feeling like a complete jerk.  
  
"Okay, okay, okay.. that was a bad ending! Aww, Noelle, don't cry!" Adam looked around nervously, then came up with a great idea. "How's this, Noelle? Noelle?" She paused to look up at him through teary eyes. "How about Uncle Adam tells you a story with a happy ending? Where someone reeaally annoying gets beaten by The Great One?"  
  
"The Great One?!" both kids squealed, Noelle forgetting her tears.  
  
Adam smirked. Oh, yeah - he was a wonder with kids!  
  
  
To Be Continued!  
  
Note: So... how is Part 3? Don't worry, Spike/Molly fanatics, this is not the last you've heard of, well, Spike/Molly! Please don't flame me, or put "Oh, I prefer Spike/Molly!" blah blah blah in your reviews, because, well... remember what Noelle said "He STOLED her!" Anyway, I KNOW you wanna see The Rock beat up someone really annoying, so stay tuned for the next chapter! 


	4. The Gingerbread Boy Wonder

Summary: Edge (Adam) gets called over to babysit Mick Foley's kids... but they won't sleep without storytime!  
Rated PG for some mild language. It's a bedtime story, people!  
Disclaimer: Sadly I don't own Edge/Adam Copeland... but.. I'd like to...! I mean, if his wife didn't... Anyway, I don't own Mick Foley's kids. I don't own Mick Foley, either... you know, come to think of it I don't own ANYONE in these stories! So please don't sue me! (hides under her bedcovers)  
  
  
  
Once Upon A Time  
  
By Dezzie Chan ^.^  
  
  
(Last our story left us, Adam had just made Noelle cry with the very sad end of his previous story. Now, he has promised The Rock will lay the smacketh down on someone's roody poo candy ass!)  
  
  
"Okay, once upon a time..." Adam ran ideas through his head faster than the speed of light. Well, maybe not THAT fast, but he did put some effort into it. Where could he possibly fit in The Rock, not to mention someone really annoying? Better question, who was someone from a story he had heard often when he was little, that had annoyed HIM?  
  
'Ooooh...' he thought to himself, smiling devilishly. 'How perfect...'  
  
"Once, down at the end of Jabroni Drive, next door to the Smackdown Hotel, there was a pleasant little bakery..."  
  
(Story mode, ( ) = Adam, { } = Duey, [ ] = Noelle)  
  
(The bakery always had lots of customers, and the only thing it had more of than customers was pie.)  
  
A man wearing a big white apron scrummaged through a big pantry, trying to find some ingredients for his famous pastries.  
  
(And I'm not talking one flavor pie - all types of pie, all sizes of pie.)  
  
Finally, he found what it was he was looking for, and holds it up triumphantly.  
  
(It was the baker's specialty. However, don't ask about strudel, because the only strudel in the whole bakery was the owner's personal possession...)  
  
The man turned around then, to reveal the one and only Rocky! He raised the People's Eyebrow, and asked "Were you expecting Martha Stewart? No, no, no, NO! It's The Rock! And The Rock is going to pause from his normal pursuit of pie, in order to bring you..." The Rock paused from his speech to hold out a small container labelled 'ginger'. "This! The Rock's very own world-famed, millions (pause) aaand MILLIONS-acclaimed gingerbread cookies!"  
  
He walked over to the dough he had been preparing, and dashed out a little of the ginger. After stirring rigorously, he decided to taste-test it. Taking a big spoonful, he took a little taste, then made a face. "Ah, these are just the same as the last time! The Rock needs something different, The Rock needs something fresh, and new!" He looked around his bakery for something he didn't normally put in gingerbread cookies. There were bottles of almond extract, sprinkles, cherry preserves (for his pie, you know *cough*) but he couldn't put his finger on what would be good.  
  
"Ah, The Rock needs something unique! Something no one... and The Rock means NO ONE! Has ever used before..." After a moment, the baker's eyes lit upon something in the corner of his little kitchen. A very large basket of fruit. He grinned, and picked up the basket, and without second thought, dumped the entire contents into the dough. He stirred a few more moments, and then looked at the sickly mixture. Well, at least he had said he wanted different, and not actually appetizing. The Rock, being always the creative one, decided to not only make this dough into gingerbread cookies, but into one giant gingerbread man, and thus, got out his cookie-cutter.  
  
He rolled out the dough, cut out the cookie, and decorated it using sprinkles, and sugar, and licorice, and icing. He even gave it a red-iced jersey and chocolate-chip hair-do. Yes, it was quite a production. At the end of it all, The Rock was ready to bake his cookie. He put it in the oven, and set the timer, then waited. However, while the cookie was in the oven, a transformation took place... the cookie, sensing that all was well in the world of sports-entertainment, decided it was time to screw everything up by taking over a rival company and running Vince McMahon out of business, at least as far as storylines go.  
  
So, when The Rock opened the number, a strange sound echoed around his bakery.  
  
"Here comes the moneeeeeey..."  
  
The Rock raised the People's Eyebrow.  
  
"(Here we go! Money talks!) Here comes the money..."  
  
Suddenly, out of the oven jumped Shane O'Mac, Gingerbread Boy Wonder! He began to jump invisible rope, as The Rock gave him a strange look.  
  
"Money, money, money, money, money."  
  
Shane O'Mac finished jumping around, then pointed at The Rock. "You! The Rock! I, Shane O'Mac, challenge you, tonight in this very bakery to a match for your baker's license!"  
  
It took The Rock a moment to process he had just been challenged by a cookie, but he quickly regained his wits. "Who... in the blue hell... are you?"  
  
"I already said, who I am, I'm Sha--"  
  
"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOUR NAME IS!!"  
  
Shane O'Mac then got very mad, and shook his cookie-crisp finger at The Rock. "Y-you'll pay for that! Do you know who I am?!" With that, he pointed to the marzipan WCW logo on his shirt. "I own WCW!! I run the Alliance!"  
  
The Rock started talking again, pacing his bakery as he did. "Well, Shane O'Mac, I'll tell you what you can do! You can take that WCW logo... shine it up real nice... turn that sum'bitch sideways, and stick it straight up your candy as--whoa, whoa, The Rock says hold it..." The Rock paused and looked at Shane. "You really DO have a candy ass, don't you?"   
  
"Oh! Rocky!" Shane mocked The Rock by clasping his hands together girlishly. "Are you saying I have a sweet ass?"  
  
'Added way too much fruit.' The Rock mused to himself. With that, The Rock lunged at Shane O'Mac, but the cookie was quick to start running away (just like Shane does all the time, anyway!)  
  
"Ha! Try, try, and attempt your best! But instead of me, now I'm sending out Test!" Shane cried in a sing-song voice.  
  
Shane O'Mac was at least true to this, for as The Rock attempted to attack him, Test jumped out of nowhere, and booted him in the head.  
  
[Uncle Adam! You said Rocky would beat someone annoying, not get booted!]  
(The story isn't even half-done, Noelle - The Rock will have his sweet, gingerbread-y revenge!)  
  
The Rock, very irate with Test's interference in his one-on-one confrontation with Shane, groggily got to his feet, and vowed he would catch that jabroni-bread boy.  
  
Shane O'Mac the Gingerbread Boy Wonder continued to run, until he ran into a young man sitting on the side of a road, cuddling a European Championship Belt. He seemed oblivious to the rest of the world, until the Gingerbread Boy tapped him on the toe, causing him to look up.  
  
"Hey! Watch my boots!" The man (who we all know to be Christian) said, frowning, slightly. "You'll get crumbs all over them!"  
  
"Sorry.. but I couldn't help but notice you have a belt, there!"  
  
Christian smiled proudly. "Why, yes, I do! It's mine, me, Christiiiiaaan!" He was singing now. "Christiaaa--"  
  
"Well... see, I'm Shane O'Mac, and I have this organization against The Rock and his bakery... since you are obviously so talented, how would you like to join it?"  
  
Christian thought hard a moment, then looked down upon the gingerbread boy. "So... you want me to abandon my home organization and join your alliance?"  
  
"Yes... I mean... we are an organization FILLED with heels.. much like you are becoming!"  
  
To this, Christian had only one answer. "Hey.. I may be jealous, and I may be a prick sometimes, but I'm not stupid!" Shane hung his head, and as he did so, Christian realized to full extent that this was a gingerbread cookie..   
  
"Hmmm... yeah.... not stupid... but hungry!!" He then jumped at the cookie, but Shane O'Mac was once again ready to dodge, and ran away swiftly, singing as he went.  
  
"Run, run, but you can't catch me! Because now you'll have to fight Booker T!"  
  
Out of nowhere, Booker T jumped out of a bush with a battle cry of "SUCKA!!" and scissor-kicked Christian. He kneeled and began to bob his head while staring in awe at his hand in preparation for his Spinnerooni. Luckily, The Rock was still chasing Shane O'Mac, and trampled Booker T before he could execute the most uninteresting move in sports-entertainment, and left him twitching and in a lot of pain as The People's Baker continuted to chase Shane.  
  
"Tell me... he did not just... do that..."   
  
Next, Shane O'Mac encountered a somewhat old looking man, with a stupidly wide, Crest-whitening smile, and a big screen with his face on it.  
  
"Yo!" grinned the man, AKA DDP, Diamond Dallas Page. "It's me, it's me, it's D... D... P!"  
  
"Uh, yeah, right, DDP... here's a favor... could you help me get away from The Rock? He's chasing me.." Shane said, begining to skip invisible rope again.  
  
"The Rock chasing you? But, Shane... that's not a bad thing.. no.. that's a good thing! See... The Rock may beat you up, and you may hurt... but millions across the nation will rejoice in the fact you're writhing in a puddle of your own blood! Which reminds me; have you done your yoga today? You may want to make sure you can stretch in all the different ways The Rock will contort your broken-down body!" Shane looked on in disbelief at DDP's speech, as DDP flashed a big open-mouthed smile. "Then, once you're done, you'll realize that I'm right... because I like me... you like me.. and after you realize what a complete ass you are and change yourself for the better, you'll like you, too!" DDP finished his speech with a big, fake smile, and a tilt of his head.  
  
As Shane continuted to stare, DDP realized that Shane was a cookie. Mmmm. He sure could go for a cookie. Because the fact he was going to consume his boss wasn't a bad thing. It was a good thing. With that, he snatched for Shane, but once again, the gingerbread boy ran for it.  
  
"Snatch, snatch, as fast as you can! You may aim for me, but you're getting Rob Van Dam!"  
  
With that, Rob Van Dam jumped down out of nowhere to perform a five-star frog splash on DDP. He got up, and started to do his thumb-pointing, when The Rock ran by, and ran him over. He coughed a little, and attempted to do his thumb-point again, when Christian ran him over again. He waited a moment, and did his point one more time.  
  
"Rob... Van... OOF!" He was ran over by Chris Jericho, who just felt it his duty to trample Rob Van Dam.  
  
(AN: Chris will have his own story later... and Rob will be in it.. so fear not Jerichoholics and RVD fans alike! Er, that is, if I get enough reviews!)  
  
The next person Shane O'Mac met was a man who was dancing about next to a river, pausing every once in a while to take a look at his reflection and fix his long, slightly wavy hair. Shane quickly realized he would have to cross the river, but being a cookie and therefore not knowing how to swim, he would need some help. He decided this guy looked like he liked the river, considering he looked at it so often, so he tugged on the man's short shorts.  
  
"Excuse me, sir.. do you think you could help me, Shane O'Mac!, across that river?"  
  
The man looked at him, and raised a brow. He then realized that this Shane O'Mac individual was a cookie.. and oh, could he go for a cookie...  
  
"Me, take you across the river?" Asked the man, more commonly known as Shawn Michaels. "I'm the man, and I can!"  
  
With that, Shawn picked up Shane, and turned around, pointing off toward.. well.. empty space. "Hit! My! Music!" Shawn took a moment to pose, but then wasted no time jumping into the water, and began to wade across, getting deeper and deeper into the water. Shane was beautifully oblivious to the Heartbreak Kid's plan. Until, at long last, Shawn was submerged in the river up to a little under his chin, he smiled evilly at Shane.  
  
"See, here's the part where I would say 'Cut my music!' but I just love dinner music!"  
  
At this point, Shane's eyes widened, as did Shawn's mouth, and all seemed lost for the Gingerbread Boy Wonder...  
  
[But but but.. what about The Rock?]  
(The Rock? What about him?)  
{He was gonna beat Shane!}  
(Oh, oh! Right! Well.. let me finish.. I was gonna say... all seemed lost for the Gingerbread Boy Wonder ... when The Rock leapt out onto Shawn's head, snatching away the cookie!)  
  
The Rock leaped easily to the other side of the river, and smiled evilly at the shivering cookie. At that moment, Christian and DDP also showed up, and stood gathered around the cookie, rubbing their hands together. Rocky firmly placed his fingers around Shane O'Mac's cookie head, and made some motions with his wrist as if he were going to snap his head off. To accentuate his morbid intentions, he sang a little rhyme. "Crack, crack, goes Shane O'Mac's head! 'Cause Rock, Christian and Dallas need to get fed!"  
  
(Back to normal story mode.)  
  
"And the rest is just too gory to continue with," Adam finished with a mischevious grin. "But you have young, and creative imaginations, and I think the best way to close it is to let you--" he lightly tapped Noelle, then Duey on the forehead. "--decide the ending."  
  
Noelle smiled, and cuddled down into her covers, looking finally satisfied. Duey happily slid off the bed, and offered his hand to Adam to get led off to his bedroom, which Adam was grateful for. He walked to the door, and looked over his shoulder one last time at Noelle before turning off the light.  
  
"Good night, Noelle."  
  
"Nighty night, Uncle Adam," came the quiet reply as the light went off.  
  
~*~  
  
Later in the evening, as Adam switched through channels, he heard the front door unlock and open, and he peeked into the front room to see Mick and Collette He sighed in relief, and stood up to greet them.  
  
"Heeeey, Edgester!" Mick slapped Adam on the shoulder good-naturedly. "Are both my little ones tucked in for the night?"  
  
"Sure are, Mick..." Adam said, rubbing sleep from his eyes.  
  
"I'll bet they were a handfull," Collette laughed. "Thanks for being so great about all this."  
  
"No problem." Edge replied with a smile. "But, if you don't mind, I gotta get outta here and get some sleep."  
  
Both Mick and Collette nodded, thanking him again as he grabbed his jacket and headed to the door. He looked over his shoulder to wave, opened the door and walked out. However, just as the door was about to close, Mick opened it back up, with one finger raised as if to make a point.  
  
"I was just thinking!" Mick smiled, showing off his missing front teeth, and causing Adam to tiredly smile back. "Collette and I are going out again next weekend... are you free for another babysitting job?"  
  
The smile turned from tired to nervous.  
  
  
  
The End (?)  
  
  
  
AN: Okay, that's it... ..for the first installment. Was it any good? I've got about twelve other story ideas, and these are just the ones I decided to include. Should I make a Part 2? Just say so in your review, and I'll give it a shot! Thanks! 


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